It was Kanye’s first day of school. He’s my 5-year-old son on the autism spectrum. After finishing his preschool program in May, his occupational therapist suggested we try regular school this year. So, I enrolled him in a public school. Despite my hesitations, he was placed in a SPED class.
Why I Was Hesitant About SPED
Let me be honest. I had my doubts about Kanye being put in a SPED class.
I have read a few articles online, and a good friend of mine mentioned the pros and cons of SPED for kids on the autism spectrum. As a mom (who overthinks a lot), it got me thinking deeply, especially that many kids with autism learn by copying what they see and hear. They tend to echo what’s around them.
Some people also say that if your child is constantly around special needs kids, they won’t have a model of “normal” behavior. This idea really stuck with me. I mean, I want Kanye to learn positive social cues, of course.
But here’s what I’ve gathered so far:
✅ Possible Pros:
- Smaller class size means the teacher can give more attention to each child
- Teachers understand how to handle meltdowns and sensory needs
- The lessons move at a pace that fits your child, so there’s less pressure
⚠️ Potential Cons:
- May have fewer chances to observe and learn typical behaviors or social skills
- Limited interaction with neurotypical peers
- Sometimes fewer academic challenges or expectations
- May unintentionally reinforce a sense of being “different”
Simply put, if a child sees his classmates eating with their hands, he might think he should do the same and not use a spoon and fork. That makes sense, though I have realized that every child is different. What works for one may not work for another. And as much as I worry, I know I have to try, observe, and adjust based on what Kanye truly needs—not just being too dependent on what other people think.
How Do You Know If a SPED Class Is Right for Your Child on the Spectrum?
I guess we would have to go back to the Pros I mentioned earlier, but to reinforce the thought, you’d know that the SPED class will fit your child if:
- The teacher uses positive modeling and gives feedback to the parent.
- The school has a good special education program.
- It keeps class sizes small. (Kanye’s current class only has two other pupils with special needs, so I think that’s manageable.)
I’ve decided to give this a chance. This might help Kanye improve his social skills. He seems happy after his class, though his teacher said he keeps walking around the room (like a mini supervisor, I imagine). The teacher also said there will be a change in the schedule for the three of them because his other classmate kept stimming and shouting. So Kanye and the other girl in class got overwhelmed. Kanye was hyperactive, while the girl kept covering her ears.
A Moment of Connection—and a Reminder About Control
While we were waiting outside of the classroom, I had a chance to speak with one of the parents whose child has autism too. That was the first time I had such a deep conversation with a stranger—but someone who happened to be a fellow special needs mom. It felt good to talk with someone who truly understands what you go through every day.
We talked about:
- The daily struggles and meltdowns
- The guilt of letting them use gadgets just to calm down
- The quiet hope that they’ll improve over time
- How therapy helps a lot
- And the constant disappointment in how narrow-minded some people can be about this condition
So many people simply aren’t capable of understanding or accepting that these kids exist. But you know what? Let me take that back. That’s a pathetic mindset to hold on to. It’s not other people’s job to understand or accept. You can’t control how someone reacts to your child.
You can’t control their opinions or their comments. But what you can control is your own attitude— Your response to the situation, Your energy around your child, And the way you carry on despite it all.
This mom I have talked to, she got teary-eyed. She recalled an instance where they went to a place, and someone was selling a bubble machine and demoed it in front of them. That was the time she found out her kid with asd has a fear of bubbles. The kid had a meltdown. And she overheard a woman, saying “May sira ata sa utak ang batang to”.
She confronted that woman and called her out for saying those words. For her, it was the right thing to do as a mom. I completely understand that feeling. I have not experienced that yet but I probably will, for sure in the coming months, years. Who knows.
Wrapping it Up
I have to prepare myself. That to me, is the right thing to do. Expect nasty stares, rude comments from strangers. Then completely shut them out. They do not matter. How you are to your child matters. How happy your boy gets when he sees you in that door matters. And how you help him cope with this world matters most.