Hey there, fellow autism parents.
Are your little ones flapping their hands a lot when they’re excited? Spinning objects repeatedly? Or even banging their heads against the wall? If so, you’ve probably heard the term “stimming.”
My son, who’s now 5 years old, did this a lot—especially during his toddler years. Let me share a few of his stimming behaviors from before:
- Covering his ears many times a day whenever he heard or saw something overwhelming—for example, pictures of animals or animal sounds
- Staring or gazing at objects like fans or lights
- Jumping up and down (he still does this even now)
- Making high-pitched sounds
- Repeating words and phrases from shows or videos he had watched
Getting to Know Stimming in Autism
When I first heard this term from my son’s therapist, I did a lot of research. I learned that stimming, or self-stimulatory behaviors, are repetitive movements, actions, or sounds that people—especially those on the autism spectrum—use to manage emotions, process sensory input, or simply express themselves.
That made a lot of sense to me. It gave me an idea of why he constantly had these behaviors. Often during the day, I’d see him replaying a video segment or a movie scene over and over—and maybe that’s a form of stimming too. He seems happy doing it, so I just let him be. I think he likes the predictability of knowing exactly what comes next. It’s a bit like his love of routines.
What Should Be the Goal?
When we started going to therapy, his teacher pointed out some of his stimming behaviors, such as:
- Singing the same song over and over
- Jumping up and down when he was hyperactive
- Making repetitive loud noises like humming
I remember his teacher/therapist did these things for him:
- Brushed his arms and legs
- Applied lotion on his shoulders down to his arms, then gave him a deep massage while he sat
- Spoke to him in a firm voice
- Gave him biscuits or crackers while he worked on his worksheets
What’s good about going to occupational therapists is that they understand why my child is stimming. Most importantly, they share with us parents how we can provide “alternatives” and manage the stimming—especially at times when we want them to listen or focus.
One time, during feedback after a session, his teacher told me:
“Mommy, Kanye was extra talkative today. He kept babbling (non-meaningful phrases) while I was teaching or making him do his worksheets.”
I completely understood what she meant. At that time, Kanye’s stimming was starting to evolve—from singing “Baby Shark,” to “Apples and Bananas,” to repeating the Planets in the Solar System. Yes, he memorizes them all—even the moons you can find around the planets!
I was curious about how she managed to get him quiet and focused. She said:
“Feeding him biscuits from time to time made him stop and finish the activity we gave him.”
I sighed with relief. I told her I’d remember that alternative. The next time we went to therapy, I brought biscuits and water for him, just in case. I’ve even tried this approach at home—and yes, it does work.
Does Stimming Go Away?
Sometimes I wonder: does stimming go away as he gets older? Or does it just evolve over time, like in the Korean series Extraordinary Attorney Woo, where Woo Young-Woo has autism and does her “Whale Talk” as stimming? That was a good series, by the way.
Anyway, the way I see it, stimming may or may not go away. But if people with autism are taught coping strategies—especially during sensory overload—or are provided alternatives to help them calm down, then probably we can lessen it. Or better yet, they can learn to manage their stimming by themselves.
Earlier in my blog, I mentioned how Kanye used to cover his ears a lot when he saw or heard something overwhelming. Show him a picture of an elephant or play an elephant sound, and he would definitely stim. It was the same for other farm and wild animals. He was so scared he’d cry out loud while covering his ears.
But now, I’ve noticed a significant improvement. He doesn’t do that anymore. He’s outgrown his fear of many animal pictures and sounds. He might still react—giving me cues he doesn’t like what he sees or hears—but he no longer covers his ears or cries.
And hopefully, their stims evolve—from hand-flapping to finger-tapping as they grow older.
Final Thoughts
Being an autism mom, I’ve gotten used to observing my son’s daily actions, reactions, and expressions. I’ve been paying close attention to him, working hand in hand with his teachers and therapists. It’s like I’ve come to know when he is:
- Overwhelmed
- At his happiest
- Needing a break
- Needing comfort
I used to see stimming as “disruptive” or “wrong,” but now I understand how important it is for him. It’s a part of his daily life. It’s his natural way of expressing what’s on his wonderful little mind, processing what he sees and hears, and showing how he feels.
And if there are times you want him to pay attention, listen during teaching, or finish a task or routine—it’s okay to gently intervene or help manage the stimming by offering alternatives. That’s okay. We don’t really get rid of stimming; instead, we support our child so they can thrive in their environment.
Who knows—one day, when he’s able to engage in meaningful conversation, he’ll talk instead of stim.
And I’m a hopeful mama, patiently waiting for that day to come.